“I have now seen the One Who sees me.”
How crazy is that? God Himself sees me and I get to see Him! Unbelievable, people. Just unbe-stinkin’-lievable.
How can we ever begin to comprehend His Love? The idea is so far beyond my finite, human being understanding! How could anyone fully love us? Sheez, we don’t love ourselves enough to drink water, get a good night’s sleep and exercise regularly!
There are days I live in the full awareness of being His, moments I feel somewhat worthy to be called “His”. On those days, in those moments, I can almost see His Smile over little, ole’ me. Yet admittedly, most days I feel desperately inadequate, falling short of who I long to be. I’m a big, yucky mess on my own!
I want to be like Jesus, I really, truly do. Not that He lived without earthly suffering, temptation or heartache (His far surpasses any I may claim), but because He wholly persevered in the Father in spite of those hardships. Jesus did everything right, You Guys. Can you even begin to imagine what life would be like?
I doubt Jesus wrote out daily “To Do” lists, checking off tasks of little-to-no eternal importance. I don’t recall any accounts of Him mowing the lawn, punching a time clock, nor watching television. (It doesn’t seem He’d waste precious time on TV – of course, Blue Bloods obviously wasn’t a thing back then.)
The Son of God wasn’t consumed by what others thought of Him, particularly those He offended. He carried bold confidence, offending those who needed to change when confronted with God’s Truth. In fact, should Jesus utilize such platforms, I’d bet His 2017 social media posts would be awash in faith, hope, compassion AND conviction – without apology. (My Jesus had moxie!)
Jesus loved. He lived. He broke every mold, destroyed every socially-accepted response to “the least of these” (Matthew 25:40, NLT). He came here to show us what matters, who matters. (And still does.)
Somewhere along the way, though I’ll never fathom how, He thought I matter. Before my parents knew I existed, before I was named “Laura”, and certainly way before 1974, Jesus thought I mattered. And not just “mattered”, but worth dying for.
Who does that? Who gives their life centuries before someone they haven’t seen, birthed or fought alongside exists? Who is willing to leave Heaven, modeling the ways we should live, be and love?
It blows my mind, total concussion-type wonder here in this curly-haired head of mine. (Probably explains my sleep deprivation now that I think of it.)
Let’s be real…
I’m challenged simply prioritizing what I should do the following day, occasionally hiding under the covers when confronted by our family’s weekend plans! It’s a daily struggle to replace worldly, negative thoughts with “what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable” (Philippians 4:8, NLT). I look in the mirror, write in my journal, and pray throughout the day, with acute awareness of my shortcomings and regrets. I don’t see the worth, the intrinsic value in myself, Christ does.
There were years I hid from God (or tried). I despised choices I made, but couldn’t see any way to un-do them. I was tainted, stained and reduced to my own, broken self-image. The last thing I wanted was for God to see me! I avoided looking at myself much, inside and out, as the shame I defined myself by was too hideous to face and reveal.
Yet now, since having seen Him, since fully knowing “Laura” both before and after accepting Jesus Christ, since believing He loves me no matter what’s hidden, revealed, carried or forgiven…
Thank You, Jesus.