We take so much for granted.
We think we’ll have ample opportunity to show someone how much they mean, so we wait.
We believe there will come a time when forgiveness will be easier, so we put it off.
We count on having second chances (and third, and fourth) to use our time more wisely, so we squander it away.
We take so much for granted.
Unless we lose someone we can never speak to again…
Unless a diagnosis comes, bringing us to our knees…
Unless an accident happens, forever changing our days, hours and minutes…
Unless someone we should have mended fences with carries the heartache to the grave…
Then, you live as hard as you can. You chase both daylight and starlight. You wake-up earlier and go to bed later. You become frustrated hearing complaints about petty things. You feel guilty when you “waste time”. You carry a burden to make the most of every, single moment you can. You emotionally strive to be patient with people whom seemingly don’t understand living by the hourglass. You fight the dread of “waiting for the other shoe to drop” in the same breath you’re counting it all joy.
Grief can be tough. It’s not that you sit around crying, at least not on the outside. It’s that it changes you in ways you never even knew existed. It can be beautiful yet tragic, tiring yet empowering, incredibly heavy and yet peacefully light.
Wherever you are, Friend, you aren’t alone. You’re not “losing it”, nor are you “going crazy”. You are grieving. While life never “goes back” to before loss, it does go forward after we’ve become aware of its frailty.
There is so much to do, so many to love, so much to appreciate. Let’s live as if we do. ❤️
2 thoughts on “Taken for Granted”
Wow! This is so enlightening. I definitely know that I took for granted the relationship that my mother and I had. I do know that at least we had mended our relationship before she passed away. However, i believe we think our parents are always going to be here. Just one more phone call, one more Christmas Letter. Then there is my brother! His death has hit me very hard! I am feeling like there had to have been something I could have done to convince him to stop the drinking and doing drugs. That he was “worthy” of being alive. Instead of being more aggressive I chose to not let his way of life be a part of mine.
Your writings are beautiful and inspirational.
Oh Dee, you are so right, Friend. We do tend to think someone will always be here. I think that’s the natural for us until we are rocked by loss. And to be honest, sometimes one loss doesn’t wake us up as much as we would hope. After losing my late husband, you would think I had done more to love my father before he had passed. But I believe, as you said, we are somehow convinced our parents are immortal. I have deep sadness over not being with my dad more often, calling more frequently, etc. I try to release the guilt I feel as soon as it comes on, but it is so difficult.
I’ve witnessed the ways in which you’ve responded to losing loved ones. While I truly don’t know how you’ve weathered so much in such a short time, and wish you hadn’t, your faith is becoming more real everyday. Your desire to be closer to God is so genuine. I’m walking alongside you, Dee. Here is you need me. ❤️
(And thank you for your kind words, Friend. Writing is both my therapy and my community.)